When people interact with each other, they need to keep a suitable boundary, and the same is true between husband and wife. Many cases of consultants express "I hope my partner will not abuse me with emotion" because their partner is strug...
When people interact with each other, they need to keep a suitable boundary, and the same is true between husband and wife. Many cases of consultants express "I hope my partner will not abuse me with emotion" because their partner is struggling with a face every day, "as if I owe him something." Couples need to maintain healthy boundaries in order to have long-term relationships. Have you played with two people's triple feet? No matter how close a couple is, the feelings between the two people will not be exactly the same, and it is even more impossible to be completely synchronized. If there is no distance, you will not be able to tell which emotions and thoughts belong to others and which are our own. Such a confusing life will definitely not be happy. Everyone has joy, anger, sorrow and sorrow, and something they have to be busy with and worry about. If they have to deal with the other party's joy, sorrow and sorrow at any time, the pressure of marriage life will inevitably be "breaking the surface".
The image of the secret feeling should be that two people can hold their hands and embrace each other, but there is a space in the middle. Just like hugging a baby, the focus is to give him clever support, rather than hugging him tightly, making him unable to move, express his emotions, and even more unable to extend himself. If the hug is too tight, the little baby will kick and hum, wanting to have a chance to play, hoping to twist and twist freely.
"It's coming again! I'll be in the busiest time again." If there is no psychological line between a couple, all emotions will have to be mixed with each other, and it will often feel difficult to endure when they are with them, as if they are troublesome at any time.
Once, when I was visiting a department store, I saw a couple wearing slippers and not shaving their beards, and they looked uncensored. The wife said loudly in the open room and complained that he was too bad for him to leave. The gentleman looked uncomfortable. It turned out that when the wife was in the fine dining room, she felt that the store's attitude was a bit contemptuous. She thought that it was because the husband was not dressed in a good manner, which made her look down upon by the store.
If this wife can have a sense of psychological boundaries, don't transfer the atmosphere she has to her husband, their relationship will be much easier. Moreover, even if you really feel that the store clerk looks down on your husband, you should stand by your husband and secretly call the store clerk!
The sense of boundary between the
is to keep each other's individuality in keeping with each other's expectations. When the other party does not meet their expectations, it can always remember that it is another individual. Whether the other party is good or bad, it does not mean that I am good or bad. This is the requirement for retaining a breathing space for each other in marriage. Couples with boundary sense will not overrequire the other party. Even when requesting, remember that they are asking for cooperation, not so. Many people lack this kind of attitude in marriage and are often picky about the other party, unable to tell whether their requirements are for themselves or for the other party, resulting in unnecessary disputes.
In marriage, asking the other party to do this is always said to be good for the other party, but it is often to meet your psychological needs or calm your anxiety. I met a wife who often scolded her husband for "You forgot to eat vitamins!". She thought everything was for the teacher's good. When she started fighting, the husband asked helplessly, if it was for my good, would such a loud voice be good for my blood pressure? In fact, the wife does not see her fear of losing her husband. If she can adjust her attitude to "for your good" to "I need it", the attitude of interaction will be different. "I really need you to be healthy! Please eat this virginity for me!" It seems that there is a bit of Japanese theory, but many couples just lack this self-consciousness and boundary line.
Breeding a marriage is like eating a duck. There is a board between a red soup and a white soup. Without this partition, both sides are no longer one, and the original attraction will disappear. People often try to change their partner without thinking and willfulness, or change themselves for one person, but in the end they only think that the other person is more unloved than they originally were. People who cannot recognize themselves often exert pressure on others without feeling self-conscious. Think you, who are sacrificing, cooperating and grieving in love, have you ever asked yourself what you are for? Does the other half feel the same? Or, he felt wronged?
Book Introduction
Book Name: With you, you can be yourself better
Author: Dun Huiwen
Publisher: Master Tianxia
Publishing Date: 2015/10/26
Psychiatrist/Column Writer/Broadcast Host Dun Huiwen
Currently, individuals and companions who specialize in psychoanalysis and elegance psychology.
Research and teaching themes as companion relationships, individualization exploration, gender and cultural psychology topics, and continue to participate in and focus on the common structure of psychological profession and general culture.
Study: Academician from the Institute of Medical Humanities, Taipei University of Medical University. He has served as a psychiatrist at National Taiwan University Hospital and Wanfang Hospital. He studied elegance analysis, psychoanalysis and marriage therapy at the SAP UK, Tavistock and Portman Clinic, Tavistock Center for Couple Relationships (TCCR), and the International Psychotherapy Institute.
has authored "The Trouble of Unlocking Love", "Extremely Related", "Do you still want to meet me", "Lonely Receive", "Don't Be Well", "Speaking Nothing Is Not Affected: Extremely Related 2", and "Learning. Books such as "Happiness Together"
